T he reality show The Bachelor is celebrating 20 seasons this year and kicked off a new season just a few days ago.  I can honestly say that I’ve never watched a single episode of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette, but I know the show is very successful.  I also know enough about the show from advertisements and by information shared online to form a solid opinion about it.  What the soaps contained, The Bachelor has and much more.  Apparently, if you’re looking for drama filled awkward dating moments, you’ll be satisfied by The Bachelor.  Although I’ve never watched a single episode, their marketing department delivers the message well through their advertisements.  I’ll begin by saying that I think it would be wise for you to kick The Bachelor to the curb.  The Bachelor, and shows like it, have taken the modern dating practices to a new level of absurdity, and you can do yourself a favor by cutting it out of your life.

In a world filled with brokenness where divorce has become the expectation in marriage, why would you want to take the important task of finding a spouse and degrade it to a level of second rate entertainment?  Below I’ve included a list of reasons why The Bachelor should not appear in your list of evening entertainment and I hope you will take time to think through the issue.  As always, I’m seeking to look at this subject through a Christian lens that’s both honest and balanced at the same time.

The Bachelor Is The Wrong Marriage Planning Method

The Bible teaches us in Proverbs 18:22, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.”  The entire show known as The Bachelor, is built around the idea of taking one man and parading before him many women on a weekly basis only to reduce the field down to his final selection in the final week.  The reduction process is based on relationships, looks, communication, and at times – physical intimacy.  At whatever level we can agree that this takes place, we must come to grips with the fact that it does happen.

What self-respecting woman would want to enter such a contest?  What self-respecting mother would encourage her daughter to engage in this type of contest if given the opportunity to find her future husband on national television?  What parent would want their little girl to go through a 6-week vicious competition to fight for a man who is making his choice for her based on the wrong reasons?  It’s simply the wrong road and it communicates a skewed concept to many young ladies who are preparing themselves for a future spouse.  I would argue for a method known as courtship to find a spouse, but that’s another subject for another day.  In short, women shouldn’t be treated like consumer products only to be returned if not satisfied.

Jesus said the following as He taught about marriage in Mark 10:7-9.  Notice, He quotes from Genesis 2:

‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

The idea of being joined together to another human being is a very serious thing that must be approached with a tone of serious consideration rather than coarse entertainment.  What God joins together, no man should separate.  That’s God’s command and plan for marriage, and The Bachelor doesn’t uphold that commitment.

The Bachelor Promotes Unreal Expectations

How many times have you looked at a magazine photo of someone and had to bring yourself to remember that this image is not real.  It has gone through dozens of editing phases and has been altered in every way imaginable to create this stunning image, but it’s simply not real.  Under the makeup and hiding behind the editing software, a real person exists.  That real person has flaws, scars, bumps, and flaws that nobody can see in that magazine photograph.

In many ways, this is the same problem with The Bachelor.  You have a man who has been scripted, coached, counseled, clothed, styled, and altered so that the reality that everyone is looking for in the show is simply not going to happen.  On the flip side of the coin, the man who is on the show should expect the same thing from the women who are competing for his attention.

The Bachelor Perpetuates Unfruitful Relationships

Relationships take time to develop and marriage is no different.  If marriage is based on the way a person looked in an evening gown or in the bikini party held on the show, what’s going to happen if she gains a few pounds?  What happens when her body changes through pregnancy?  The entire concept of finding a spouse based on physical attraction and the way in which she kisses is simply unfruitful.  Relationships have many more levels to consider and to reduce it down to the the physical appeal and personality of an individual can be a recipe for disaster in the end.  If you examine the statistics of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, there are six couples that are still together out of the 30 seasons of the two series. [1]

The Bachelor Doesn’t Honor God

As stated from the beginning, I’m a Christian and therefore, I look at life from a distinct Christian lens.  Everything from money to marriage will be shaped by the gospel of Jesus Christ.  The idea of a finding a spouse is a serious thing, and to reduce it down to a big 6-week party full of sensual dating and partying is not the method that honors God.  This is evident on the basis of several reasons:

  • Physical Intimacy is a Sacred Thing

Hebrews 13:4 – Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

  • Divorce is Sinful

Mark 10:6-9 – But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

  • Lust and Adultery

Matthew 5:28 – But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Wouldn’t it be a tragedy to choose the wrong spouse based on a quick lustful decision under immense pressure on a reality television show?  The odds are stacked against these people.  Overall, The Bachelor is a poor choice of entertainment that promotes a wrongful picture of marriage, and it demonstrates a pattern that we do not want to pass down to our children.

What is marriage?  It’s a picture of the gospel.  It serves a purpose to glorify God, but it’s not the end goal of happiness in this life or throughout eternity.  Complete happiness and joy is rooted in Jesus Christ.  That’s what marriage should picture.  Marriage is the faithful covenant keeping love that is demonstrated in Jesus’ love for His bride – the church.  Unfortunately, that message is not found in The Bachelor and for that reason, I’m pleading with you to kick The Bachelor to the curb.

  1. These ‘The Bachelor’ Couples Are Still Together As of 2016!
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Author Ditch The Bachelor

Josh Buice

Pastor Pray's Mill Baptist Church

Josh Buice is the founder and president of G3 Ministries and serves as the pastor of Pray's Mill Baptist Church on the westside of Atlanta. He is married to Kari and they have four children, Karis, John Mark, Kalli, and Judson. Additionally, he serves as Assistant Professor of Preaching at Grace Bible Theological Seminary. He enjoys theology, preaching, church history, and has a firm commitment to the local church. He also enjoys many sports and the outdoors, including long distance running and high country hunting. He has been writing on Delivered by Grace since he was in seminary and it has expanded with a large readership through the years.